A month was a long time. That was the thought that slowly crawled it’s way through Takeru’s head as he lay there in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He wished the sleeping pills had not worn off but they had and he knew he should stay awake for at least a few hours before taking more.Still, it really had almost been that long hadn’t it? Almost a month since he’d been with his brother and Sora. If only it were possible to turn back time somehow. But then, wouldn’t they have been able to go back all the way to when they were defeated and fix it somehow. Yes, that would be a much better alternative. Maybe then none of this would have happened. Their lives wouldn’t have fallen apart and he would have never had sex with his brother.
Did he regret it? Maybe a little. Only because he knew it had torn them apart in a way that he wasn’t sure they would ever be able to fix. But that was the reality now. He’d had sex with his brother and he hadn’t hated it but Yamato hated himself for it, no matter how much Takeru had told him not to, and now he hadn’t heard from Yamato in weeks.
Part of it was his own fault he guessed but he’d wanted to give Yamato space after what had happened. Especially considering that his brother had been so depressed and torn up because of him. He’d figured it was better to stay away. And as for Sora, well, he still had no way to contact the redheaded girl and so he had not seen or heard from her since then and he was glad for it. He did not want to face how awkward that would be.
In the weeks since the ‘incident’, that was what Takeru was determined to call it because there was no way that something like that just happened, someone or something had to be behind it, Takeru had tried to make himself busy. It had not worked very well. He had a lot of things to sort over after what had happened. How did one cope with it when your first time having sex since you were raped was with your older brotherandyou enjoyed it?
He’d spent a few days locked in his apartment, hating himself for the fact that he didn’t hate what had happened, and then he’d gone out and tried to make himself feel better about what had happened. He’d needed to prove to himself that he was okay with having sex now, because he’d certainly been fine with it with Yamato and Sora, but it had not worked as he’d wanted. Oh he went and had sex with people, quite a bit of it but all he managed to feel from it was dirty. The worst part was that his mind kept comparing it to Yamato and Sora. Yamato had done that little move better and Sora’s mouth had felt so much better on him. He couldn’t get them out of his mind and he hated himself for that.
And so ever since he’d finally figured out that nothing was going to help, no amount of sex was going to chase what had happened out of his mind, he’d kept to his apartment. It had been, two weeks now? Maybe just a little more. His apartment was falling into quite a bit of squalor after that amount of time but he couldn’t bring himself to clean or anything. The most he managed to do was go get groceries every so often, because he didn’t really want to starve to death. Live as a hermit for the rest of his life maybe, but not starve to death.
Part of him wished that his brother would come looking for him, much like he had hoped in the beginning but he knew better this time. Yamato wasn’t going to come and no one knew exactly where he lived, though he had a feeling Koushiro had probably figured it out, but he knew no one was going to come knocking down his door. It was probably better anyways. Yamato and Sora didn’t need his perverted thoughts around and Koushiro he was more likely to punch than anything and well, that left Mimi but he had a feeling she would still probably be mad over the whole party thing.
The sound of a phone ringing roused him from his thoughts. His hand fumbled around for his cellphone and fliped it open, raising it to his ear. “Hello?….No, I can’t. Sorry man…. I know I haven’t done anything for a few weeks….No, I just..can’t, okay?……I get it, I’m sorry man but I just….Yeah! I’m fucking depressed okay? Can you drop it now?….No! I don’t know when I’ll get out of it! Just, go call someone else. Bye!” he flipped the phone shut and tossed it across the room. He knew he was depressed, but he had no clue when he’d ‘get out of it’ because he’d never been this depressed before. Not even when his mother had died or when Patamon had turned into…
Takeru sighed, that was what he could use right now. A friend that wouldn’t abandon him or think him disgusting even though he knew he was. But Patamon was long gone. Around still maybe, but far from being a friend like that at this point. With a grunt he picked himself up out of bed. He should shower, he probably smelled, but it didn’t really matter. He didn’t intend to leave his house anyways.
Takeru likes to read books set in the Holocaust because it helps to remind him that no matter how bad the past ten years have been, other people have had it worse.
Takeru’s apartment is in the building across the street from Koushiro’s new apartment.
Takeru is stubborn. This means he will stand by his friends through everything.
It also means that he will be the one they will have to try hardest to convince that they can win against MaloMyotismon. Because he long ago gave up hope of ever winning and he is just as stubborn with clinging to that thought than he is with anything.
Takeru spends a lot of time reading. He’s always liked books because they are an escape from the world they live in, if but a temporary one. He’s read more books than he can think of, even to the point of studying English so that he could read those books too.
Takeru likes music. Maybe it just reminds him of his brother, Yamato always liked music. He likes to listen to all sorts of music. The only thing that he won’t listen to songs that have harmonica in them. Maybe it just reminds him a littletoo much of his brother.